Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
It was confusing and full of hummus
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Randomize
