No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize