Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Randomize
