Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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