that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
