Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
