It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
