remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
