You just made me feel so damn special
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
how do flat chested girls get laid?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Randomize
