so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
