I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
