I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
