Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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