I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Randomize
