Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
