Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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