I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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