we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
