I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
