I want to have your abortion
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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