I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
