I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
