umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
