Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
