Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
