Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Randomize
