We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
