They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
