talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
