1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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