I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
