I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
