also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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