Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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