Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
