I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Randomize
