I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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