I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
