We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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