Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
It's rum buckets o'clock
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
