Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
