My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
