I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
