I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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