Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
