yo everyone went to the hospital last night
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
