And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
