I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
