You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
