i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
