as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
