it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
