..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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